First Draft of Essay 3.1

In the beginning, there was a caveman. (Just for the sake of argument, let us say our caveman happens to be the very first caveman to ever walk the Earth. His name was Steve, by the way.) One lovely afternoon, after Steve finally managed to crawl out of his bed extremely late (the lazy dog), he proceeded to wander around outside of the cave, taking in his surroundings. He gazed up at the sky, noticing the bracing chill held within the clean, quiet air. He let his eyes drift over the bountiful countryside, making mental notes about the various flora and fauna. He let his thoughts drift off to where he should try to forage for wild berries and (if he was lucky) fornicate a bit with his colleague Sally, the very first cavewoman. (She happened to live right down the street, only in a much nicer and larger cave, much to the perplexity of caveman Steve.) And then, while all of these thoughts were ruminating around in Steve’s tiny little brain, he suddenly did something quite spontaneous and fantastic. Without quite understanding what exactly he was doing, our caveman somehow managed to utter the very first words ever uttered by a human being. Of course, as there were no recording devices at the time, we do not know exactly what Steve said that day, but it was probably something like, “Ug!” or “Ooot! Ooot!” Or, who knows? Maybe it was, “OMG. This living-in-a-cave thing is, like, kinda weird and stuff. Right?” We will never be certain. Nevertheless, we do know one thing for sure: no matter what verbalization Steve managed to conjecture that day, there were no laws to govern what our caveman could or could not voice. His prose was unregulated and unbound by all limits. Steve possessed, in essence, a true and absolute freedom of speech. He did not, however, possess the Freedom of Speech, as we define it today in our Bill of Rights. And there is a great difference between the two, because our Freedom of Speech rightly incorporates practical and necessary limits, confines that we place upon ourselves, so that we might uphold even higher principles.

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I wonder how many college essay introductions contain the word 'fornicate'?

Thanksgiving, In Seven Odd Little Steps

My photos have been a little dark/creepy lately, so time to show off some beautiful green stone and metal, I think. These were taken a few years ago, on my birthday, during a trip to Multnomah Falls. I still remember that day with great fondness.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope that, no matter where you are and who you are with, it is a lovely day for you.